Goodbye 2012

It's the last hours of 2012. and I can't wait to start 2013. 

2013 HAS to be a better year.

It's so quiet in my house right now. The kids are in bed, hopefully drifting off to sleep. Ted's already passed out in bed with the dogs and here I am sitting in the kitchen staring at crafts me and Emma made today. I had maybe 2 hours of sleep last night. SO why am I still up?!
It makes me feel like a bad mom, looking back on this year. I have been so depressed with all the things happening around me, I'm taking it out on myself and the kids. I don't want to be that mean mom, but then I don't want to be the mom who lets her kids run wild everywhere we go. I want them to learn manners and how to act.
I don't know what has gotten into the kids here lately, but I'm hoping it was just the hype of Christmas. They have been AWFUL. Love them to pieces but I can only take so much before I feel exhausted. I'm always exhausted anymore. From working 3 days in the library at school, to adding on workouts in the mornings and then TRYING to get motivated when I am home to clean and keep it all nice and stuff for when Ted comes home and then the kids fight/scream, hit, run...I'm one emotionally beat up momma.  I wish I could be like these other "super moms" that are all skinny and have perfect acting kids who read books already at a young age and don't run circles around them everywhere they go.

Motherhood is not for everyone. I have had my days where I just look up and ask, Really? Am I really cut out for this? Are you sure you didn't make a mistake? Because I feel like a COMPLETE failure.
I have ONE friend that I can text/talk to about anything and I know she not judging me because she feels same with me. I'm thankful for her because without her, idk sometimes.

So if anyone is reading this, please don't judge me or any other mom you see in Walmart who is looking like she wants to pull her hair out. Don't judge when our kids are running up and down the aisle and almost getting smacked with lil ole grandmas buggy. They have to learn on there own. Its truly exhausting, trying to constantly yell at them to stop doing something.

In 2013, I have a lot of changes I want to make in my life. I'm not counting on being perfect by the end of the year, but I hope to be an even better mom by then and I wish this for all my fellow moms in the world.

Happy New Year everyone